Friday, 15 January 2016

R.I.P "Professor Snape"

Photo taken from Google. Source:

To be honest with everyone.

I never knew him by his actual name or have seen him in other films he acted in.

I only knew him as Professor Snape in Harry Potter films and he was one of the reasons why I loved Harry Potter movies apart from the magical elements of the film.

All I can say now...

Thank You, I'll miss you.

May you rest in peace.

Thursday, 24 December 2015

Merry Xmas!

Taken from Google. Credits as per picture
Read somewhere there was a big hooha on whether to call it XMAS or CHRISTMAS.

Thou the hooha not in my country but seriously, nothing wrong with XMAS.  All along to me and I am sure the majority of people, it meant CHRISTMAS.... like a shortcut/abbreviation...

Just don't read too much into it and enjoy the season folks... esp. folks from you-know-which religion....


This is a rather contradicting post....

Taken from Google. Credits to (where the pix link was from)
My most hated months in the calendar are usually Dec-Feb.  These 3 months is the festivity intense months because after XMAS comes New Year comes the Chinese New Year.  Everyone in their joyous celebration mood.

Sad or Not Sad to say I don't share that joy.

No idea if I had mention this before.  I think I did but long story cut short. I hate dec-feb and that includes all the festivity within this period.  I decline any invitation to any sort of parties because I really do not give a damn about it.  My mood is generally low so don't expect me to be all smiley and everything.

I openly updated my status via Facebook (private a/c) to decline any invites but I guess my mum did not read about it.  She called last night and said that she will be preparing a simple lunch and ask me to go home for lunch.

Okay.  I will make an exception for my mum.  I want to see the plant she grew at the same time and to see if my favorite ginger stray cat is doing OK anyways.

With that said, I don't spoil the festive mood for you cause I am not the Grinch. I still wishes all a Merry XMAS.

Just don't attempt to spread the joy and invite me along to join you all because....

Taken from Google. Credits to (where the pix link was from)
This is what you get when you look at me, looking at you....

Taken from Google. Credits to (where the pix link was from)

Tuesday, 1 December 2015

To hell with making resolutions...

Let's recap on my resolutions for 2015 to see what I had achieved (in bold).

1) Save more money
(for Lipo in Medan hopefully on my birthday week)


Went for thigh lipo on my bday week alone! have since fully recovered as of today. Saving for my next trip or maybe.....

2) Thigh Lipo and tummy/arm touch ups


Accomplished: Thigh lipo. Next trip would be 2nd session on either arms, lower abdomen or thighs.  Will see.

3) Try reduce fast foods, soft/sugared drinks and junk food (chips, salted/sweetened biscuits, cakes, instant noodles) to a minimal


In 2015, i recorded the following.  For the entire year, it does not seem a lot but I hope to clamp down on instant noodles and chips in 2016 thou.

Bubble tea: 9 times (update: 31/12/15)
Instant noodles: 23 times (update: 31/12/15)
McD: 1 time (happy meal (6pcs nuggets & cup corn) shared with aunt)
Pizza: 3 individual slices
Carbonated drink: -
Chips: ~ 20 bags (didn't record just estimation)

4) Lose at least 5kg by next XMAS
(now i'm 73kg, so next xmas it should be like maximum 68kg)


Since May, my weight has been around 70-71kg.  Towards the later half of the year, I have been taking slimming pills.  1 bottle from Expressions Fat Burner, 1 bottle from Kinohimitsu Tummy Tuck and 1 month supply of Kinohimitsu Kilocut.  Did not really help much in anyway.  Current weight still 70kg so I suppose its still a 3kg loss from last year assuming if come xmas i'm still 70kg?

5) Learn or develop a new interest


Accomplished with love for nanoblocks and adult coloring books!

6) Resume reading Chinese novels/baking/cooking interest and complete my Mona Lisa sewing project.


Semi-Accomplished. I bought and read couple of Qiong Yao novels in the first half of the year.  Also tried and cooked up a couple of dishes but my Mona Lisa sewing was kind of abandoned since I started coloring.

7) Try to do more good deeds without hesitation


Can't recall doing any.  I even turn away the volunteers gathering funds for ASEAN Para Games by saying I don't care about it which in actual fact, I really don't care about it.  Still, wish the players all the best.

8) Try to be less hot tempered/less impatient/less annoyed easily


Was fine in the first half of the year then it went downhill.  Especially towards my mum.

9) Try to abstain from impure thought


I think its human nature to think about sex.  Well, I admit I do watch porn but not very often.

10) Be a much happier person


Not happening at all

Scored about 4.5/10.... Well, it is much better than not accomplishing anything at all.  I don't think I am doing resolutions from now on already coz its pretty redundant.  Lets just hope whatever I do, does not break the law, harm anyone or even myself.

What is worth remembering in 2015 that happened to me?

Apart from the thigh lipo I did, I don't think there is much.  This time it hurts like a bitch towards the end of surgery (nearly bite off my own flesh while enduring the pain, poor nurse's hand was also tightly grip and nails dugged into hers... poor thing, bought her something while grocery shopping few days later to thank her) which was the worse of the 3 times I did but the recovery was the fastest & easiest. Surprised myself at the recovery process thou!

It is only the bruises that is intimidating.  I almost ran up and down the stairs the next day and have no problems speed walking in the shopping mall in about day 4! WTF~!

As a person, mentally, I would say I am becoming more angry and unhappy especially towards my mum.  I think its a personality clash or character or whatever.  How is it each time she arranges a meal gathering, my mood would always be bad.  The dinner atmosphere will always be somber with me not bother to talk or anything and then she gets pissed off.

To be honest, I really am not interested in meeting for meals.

Really don't understand why I feel such a drag about spending time with my mum? Unexplained frustration and anger towards her.  Or maybe the problem is being outside of the house in public?

I wonder if its my father's infidelity that sparks off everything.  I have never kept in contact/seen much of him since, thou he still stays in the same household as my mum (apparently, different rooms now) but I am no longer staying with them but at my aunts's place.

I felt very disgusted by him.
I felt even disgusted to be sharing his genes.
I feel even shitter being similar to him in terms of behavior and attitude.

Perhaps I blamed my mum... for marrying a person like my dad and having his children.  I am also appalled at her decision not to divorce my dad when the shit happens and chose to still live together with him under the same roof like 2 separate individuals.

I am also pissed off at the fact I have a brother who used to have loan shark problems and is not contributing much to society as a whole and at times still financially dependent on my mum as of now.

Think I just prefer to stay away from people who gives me problems, even if they are my next-of-kin. Seeing my mum just makes me remember all the negative things.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Selfish & heartless? I won't deny it but not facing her and the group of people who pisses me off does make me feel much calmer.  Thou at times I am happy to see her after a long while when she comes over to my aunt's house.

there... i think the problem lies in meeting at home or outside... 

Coming 2016...

I hope to be a much calmer person (positive maybe) in temperament thou I doubt it will happen unless something magical happens... there's a Chinese saying that goes roughly by 爱情会让一个人有180度的大转变but this will never happened because I am home 24/7 apart from being in office whole day.  So, what miracles will happen to me?

I only had 1 bff who is attached and possibly getting married.  We don't meet up often as it is already.  After getting married I think I will just lose another bff.  Can talk to friend becomes 0.... I don't mix well with people already, I don't even like going out to meet people... Can only suck it up right?


whatever... i'm never fated with miracles or luck anyways...